Dr. Fellatio Read online

  Dr. Fellatio

  STELLA

  Copyright © 2018 by STELLA

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is for Annie Teasman and Danielle Tucker (the original beginnings of Stella before we ever knew it), and Bentley Cole and Bastian Thames (the first two men we fell in love with).

  …Without them, there would be no Stella.

  Contents

  Prologue

  1. Chris

  2. Lexi

  3. Lexi

  4. Chris

  5. Lexi

  6. Chris

  7. Chris

  8. Lexi

  9. Lexi

  10. Chris

  11. Lexi

  12. Chris

  13. Lexi

  14. Chris

  15. Lexi

  16. Chris

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Also by STELLA

  Prologue

  Chris

  “So, I looked at apartments today.” Lexi’s voice filled the line, but I was only halfway paying attention. Sorting through my mail and successfully climbing the stairs to my dorm room was a feat.

  A hum vibrated my lips seconds before I asked, “Oh, yeah? Find anything good?”

  The thought of living together excited me, even though I didn’t sound like it at the time.

  “There was one I really liked, but I want to wait until dinner to tell you about it.”

  I hiked my bag higher on my shoulder and laughed at her. “You always do this, Lex. You bring something up, but instead of telling me about it, you make me wait.”

  “I’m teaching you patience. You’ll thank me later.” I didn’t need to see her face to picture the smile I knew spread across her lips—her glossy lips. I could hear it in her voice, in every syllable. Not to mention, I saw it a lot. Lexi was always happy, always smiling. It was probably one of my favorite things about her. Regardless of how her mom had struggled or that Lexi had to fight for everything she had, she always lived inside the silver lining.

  It would be far faster to list the things I didn’t like about her: Nothing.

  “Fine. Whatever. Am I picking you up, or are we meeting there?”

  “I’ll meet you there. I’m like ten minutes away, so it makes more sense for me to drive to Bobby’s instead of going home.”

  “Okay. Well, I just walked into my room, so give me a minute to change, and then I’ll leave.”

  “See you soon. Love you.”

  “I love you, too.” I ended the call and then dropped my cell, along with my keys and the five envelopes, onto the table next to the door. I didn’t need to change my clothes, but I couldn’t exactly tell her why I needed to stop by my place before dinner.

  She’d find out soon enough.

  I lived in a single dorm—walk in on a roommate banging his girlfriend enough times and you learn to live alone. Lexi shared a small apartment on the other side of town with her best friend, Jasmine. However, in two months, Lexi and I would have our own place, something I’d been trying to do for the last year. I must’ve asked a hundred times, begged her to find an apartment with me, but she refused, always giving the same excuse: neither of us knew where we’d be after graduation.

  I’d applied for the master’s program at DigiTech in Washington state. Considering we were in Georgia, Lexi wanted to wait until we knew if I’d have to move across the country before making any plans regarding our future. It was nearly impossible to get accepted, so I hadn’t held my breath, but she never gave up hope. Not that she wanted me to leave; she just believed in me more than I believed in myself. She had faith that they wouldn’t pass up someone as talented as I was—her words, not mine. Yes, I wanted to go, but I didn’t want to leave Lexi. We’d been together for three years, and I’d known from the beginning that I wanted to spend my life with her.

  But now, she didn’t have an excuse. DigiTech had waitlisted me, and after months of silence from them, it was safe to assume I hadn’t made the cut. In six weeks, Lexi would get her marketing degree while I received mine in computer sciences. About a month ago, we discussed our plans for after graduation, and she’d finally agreed to move in together. The next day, I’d gone out and made the single most important purchase of my life using a large chunk of my grad school savings.

  With that thought in my head and a smile on my face, I took the black box from my dresser drawer. I didn’t need to open the lid to know what was in it—I’d looked at it every day since buying it—although that didn’t stop me from flipping it open and admiring the glittering diamond ring set snuggly in the white cushion. It wasn’t anything big or fancy, but the second I saw it, I knew it was perfect. It was made for Lexi, made for me to put on her finger.

  And tonight was the night.

  I closed the lid and stuffed it in my pocket. My heart raced with each step I took toward the front door, but not out of fear. No. Each beat was packed with excitement, hope, unbelievable elation at what I was about to do. In less than an hour, we’d be seated in a booth at Bobby’s—it was actually called Roberto’s Pizza, but we’d been referring to it as Bobby’s since the first time we ate there. I couldn’t imagine a better place in the world to ask Lexi to be my wife than where we had our first date.

  Bobby’s was not only where we had our first date, but it’s also where we officially became a couple. It was our place. Every milestone was celebrated with a beefalo and artichoke pizza. And this one would be no different.

  As I reached down to grab my phone and keys, the header on the top envelope caught my attention. “Institute of Technology” peeked out from beneath my cell. I told myself it was the rejection letter I anticipated, but the size of the envelope indicated something different. With my heart in my throat, the ring box in my pocket feeling larger than its actual size, I carefully opened it. My dream had always been to attend DigiTech, no matter the cost of the tuition. It was why I’d been so frugal since I was fifteen, saving every penny. But now, on the cusp of starting my adult life, I wasn’t so sure this was what I wanted.

  I didn’t need to read beyond the first sentence, but I did anyway. I skimmed the entire letter and then flipped through the pages of financial aid forms, campus housing information, and class schedules. I hadn’t realized I’d held my breath until I became lightheaded, my brain lacking the oxygen it needed to function. Then the world tilted. All the pieces I’d put into place began to shift and fall out of order.

  This changed everything.

  Or…maybe not.

  Time stood still during the drive to Bobby’s. It didn’t budge as I sat in the booth, waiting for Lexi to show up. It remained on pause while I stared at the menu, not paying a single bit of attention to anything on it. My entire world sat frozen until the most beautiful girl in the world slid into the booth across from me.

  “Are you planning on changing it up tonight?” Her infectious grin made her exotic eyes impossibly brighter. I couldn’t look away from them. They were this unusual slate-grey color with striations of green that make them appear blue. But sometimes, like tonight, they almost looked aqua. I’d come to learn that was the color of happiness. Like a mood ring, her eyes always gave her away.

  “Huh?”

  “You’re looking at the menu. I don’t think we’ve ever looked at one here. Are you interested in something different? Trying to mix it up?”

  “Oh, no.” I shook my head to clear my mind and put the folded piece of paper behind the shaker of red pepper flakes. “I was just killi
ng time before you got here.”

  “Well, now that I’m here, you can look at this.” She excitedly slid a listing for an apartment in front of me. “This is the one I found today. I wasn’t going to check it out without you, but I was in the area, and they had time to show it to me. I figured I’d take a peek, so if it wasn’t a good one, I wouldn’t bother you with it.”

  Much like with my acceptance letter, I skimmed the listing. It wasn’t that I didn’t care for it or didn’t think it was perfect for us, but I couldn’t stop thinking about another piece of paper. The one that could potentially change my entire life.

  “What’s wrong?” Her question hinted at concern, but when I lifted my gaze and found hers, I saw nothing other than restrained apprehension. “Is it not what you had in mind?”

  “No, that’s not it.”

  “It’s central to almost everything,” she continued, as though I hadn’t said anything. It was clear she really liked this place and wanted to argue the reasons why we should live there. “And it’s insanely cheap. Everything else with these amenities is like twice the price for rent.”

  The box grew hot against my thigh.

  Here goes nothing. “I know we talked about staying near Atlanta for employment purposes, but since neither of us has actually gotten a job yet, what do you think about moving somewhere else?” When her brows furrowed, I continued, not wanting her to reject the idea before hearing me out. “It doesn’t have to be forever, just a couple of years.”

  My leg bounced beneath the table.

  “After that, we can come back here…or go anywhere you want.”

  My chest constricted painfully.

  “Say something, Lex,” I begged.

  She sat back in the booth and licked her lips, her gaze locked on the listing between us. “You got accepted, didn’t you?”

  And my heart broke.

  Sadness flooded her voice, so much so that it nearly drowned her words. But her eyes…they continued to shine like the Caribbean Sea. Emotions warred within her—happiness for what this meant for me, and sorrow for what this quite possibly meant for us.

  “Yeah, I got the letter today. But this doesn’t mean anything has to change…I mean, other than where we live. I’m sure you can get a job anywhere. Really, this came at the perfect time. We haven’t signed a lease for an apartment, we haven’t accepted job offers, and we’re less than two months away from graduation.”

  “I was going to surprise you, but…” Her hesitancy caused my heart rate to accelerate beyond normal levels. “I had an interview at Miriam Pratt today. That’s why I was near the apartment.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She shrugged like it was no big deal that she’d kept something this big a secret. “I didn’t think I’d get it. Jasmine got a callback, too. She had her interview yesterday, and when she was offered a position, I figured that meant I wouldn’t.”

  “But you did.” It came out as more of a question than a statement. I refused to release the tiniest shred of hope that she hadn’t taken the job, because that would mean the plan I’d devised since opening the envelope from DigiTech wasn’t a possibility.

  “Yeah. And I took it. I was going to surprise you tonight with the news.”

  “Well, you succeeded. I’m surprised.” I shook it off, refusing to let this ruin our night and my plans of asking her to marry me. After all, it was just a school. It was only a master’s degree. In six weeks, I would have what I needed to find employment. I didn’t have to go to Digital Institute of Technology to secure a job—it helped, but it wasn’t a necessity. What I couldn’t live without was Lexi. “You know what? This doesn’t change anything.”

  “Chris…it changes everything.”

  “No, it doesn’t. Just because I was accepted doesn’t mean I have to go.”

  Her bright eyes widened and her mouth fell open. She blinked a few times, shock registering on her face. “Are you kidding me? You can’t turn that down. This is huge, babe. Huge. You’ve dreamed of this for half your life.”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore, Lex. We’ve made plans for after graduation. We’re going to move in together—here.” I tapped on the piece of paper on the table between us. “And you’re going to work at Miriam Pratt, climbing your way up the big ladder and taking the marketing industry by storm. I’ll find a job. Don’t worry about that. This is my dream now.”

  She covered my hand with hers and locked her compassionate gaze on mine. “Don’t do this. You promised you wouldn’t.”

  When we decided to wait until closer to graduation before planning our future together, she made me promise I wouldn’t choose her over school. She’d said she feared that I wouldn’t send in my application for the master’s program, and instead, stay behind to be with her. And after witnessing the destruction of her parents’ marriage because her mom gave up her dreams in order to marry Lexi’s dad, she never wanted to hold anyone back. In fact, Lexi had gone as far as completing the application process with me, ensuring I had followed through with it.

  “I know I did, but this is different.”

  “No, it’s not, Chris.”

  I slid my hands off the table and into my lap, my palm landing on the box still nestled in my pocket. The only thing I wanted to do was pull it out, open the lid, and beg her to marry me, but I knew she’d say no.

  So, I tried a different approach. “It’s thirteen grand per semester. That’s twenty-six thousand dollars a year. My degree will end up costing me over fifty thousand dollars, and that doesn’t include living expenses. It doesn’t make sense to spend that much money on an education.”

  “You act like this is new information. But you’ve known about the cost. You’ve saved and prepared for it. Not to mention, it’s not just an education. Getting your master’s at DigiTech will guarantee so much for you after you graduate. You can’t pass this up.”

  She was right. One of the advantages was the job opportunities. Graduating from DIT meant I’d be able to walk into almost any office and gain employment—some of the companies who took their alumni were nearly impossible to even get an interview with without “Digital Institute of Technology” in gold on the top of the degree.

  And there was no way I’d waste my breath asking her to choose me over her career. She’d had her eye on Miriam Pratt since before I’d met her. It was a huge marketing firm in Atlanta with major accounts. If Lexi wanted to see her ads in those expensive magazines she loved, she couldn’t pass up this opportunity.

  “So what does that mean for us?”

  She didn’t need to say anything; her eyes said it all. They dimmed, losing the vibrancy of the greens and blues until they were nothing but glistening pools of steel. “It’s only two years, right?”

  “Yes,” I muttered with my heart in my throat.

  “That’ll go by in no time. And then we can revisit our plans for the future.”

  “I don’t want to lose you, Lex.” It was barely a whisper, but she heard it.

  “You don’t have to. We can talk every day and visit each other when we can.”

  “A long-distance relationship?”

  “Whatever works, Chris.” It was obvious she didn’t believe her own lie. Her voice lowered, and her bottom lip trembled ever so slightly when she added, “I love you. I’ll always love you. But you need to see this through. I know in my heart this isn’t the end for us.”

  But it was.

  Six weeks later, we walked the stage.

  That night, we celebrated—just the two of us.

  A week later, I packed everything I owned, including the diamond ring.

  And three days after that, I was in my truck, a U-Haul hooked to the hitch, heading across the country and away from Lexi.

  Even though we had agreed on a long-distance relationship, we learned quickly that those never work out as planned. Phone calls went from multiple times a day down to one, typically at night. With the time difference, even those were hard to keep up. Each call became shor
ter and shorter until we’d miss one here and there. Eventually, we missed them more than we made them, and before we knew it, we’d go an entire week with only a few text messages exchanged.

  By the end of my first year, we seemed to have hit a brick wall. Her mother had become ill, so on top of work and the fight she needed to climb the marketing ladder, she had to make time to be there for her mom. Keeping up with each other’s lives was almost impossible, even though we tried like hell. Yet it simply wasn’t enough.

  Before we knew it, we’d completely grown apart. In the three years we dated in college, we’d managed to weave our lives together so tightly we convinced ourselves that we were unbreakable. But neither of us had taken into account that the fibers we’d comprised ourselves of lacked the elasticity to survive being stretched from one corner of the country to the other. Halfway through my last year, we both decided to take a break. Juggling school, work, her mom, and our relationship had proven to be too much to handle, and looking at the list of our priorities, the only thing we could press pause on was our relationship. However, we did so with the understanding that it was temporary.

  Even though the breakup was hard, not what we ultimately wanted, it did help to alleviate the pressures of obligatory communication. This way, when we did talk, it was because we wanted to, or needed the other. We didn’t reach out because we felt we had to, which made things slightly easier to bear. Although, that didn’t mean we talked much.

  About three months before graduation, I flooded the Atlanta market with my résumé, filling out every application I could for any position that involved computers. I was on cloud nine, knowing it wouldn’t be long before I could return to Georgia and press play on my life with Lexi. But as days turned to weeks, and job after job fell through, that cloud had descended dangerously close the fiery pits of hell. And after six weeks of constant rejection, DIT had offered me a job placement opportunity with one of the best technology offices in the country, paying twice as much as anything I’d applied for in Atlanta.